The greatest of all happiness, next to divine happiness, is to be at peace with one’s immediate relations, those with whom one must live every day in the year. When people try to handle the extremely complicated machinery of human feelings without any training whatsoever, the consequent results are often disastrous. Very few persons realise that most of our happiness lies in the art of understanding the law of human behavior. This is why so many people are often “in hot water” with their friends, and, worse yet, at constant war with their own best beloved ones at home.
The basic law of right human behavior is self-reform… Whenever any trouble occurs with our friends or dear ones, we should inwardly lay the blame of ourselves for getting into an unpleasant situation and then try to get out of it as fast and as graciously as we can. It is fruitless to increase the trouble by loudly, unkindly, discourteously blaming others, even though we find that they are to blame. We can teach quick-tempered dear ones to mend their faults a hundred times better by setting a good example than we can by harsh or self-righteous words.
When there is a fight, at least two parties are involved. So there can be no fight with you if you refuse to participate.
If someone speaks to you in hurtful language, remain quiet, or say, “I am sorry if I have done something to offend you,” and then remain silent.
The spiritual man conquers wrath by calmness, stops quarrels by keeping silence, dispels inharmony by being sweet of speech, and shames discourtesy by being thoughtful of others.
There is no more liberating action than sincerely to give people kindness in return of unkindness.
Never be mean. Have resentment toward none. I prefer some sinners with good hearts to some so-called good people who are bigoted and uncompassionate. To be spiritual is to be broad, to understand and forgive, and to be a friend to all.
The entire Roman government could not have roused unkindness in Christ. Even for those who crucified him, he prayed: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
Extract from the book “Where there is Light” by Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda
