EP34: Karmic Obligations towards Family

Commentaries by Vee Jay Attri during the Book Study – Secrets of Karma

We shall continue with our study from Secrets of Karma. We were reading karmic obligations towards the family. Two important points we mentioned yesterday and there were some few observations.

We were actually talking about a little deeper level of spiritual path yesterday and obviously, it is a matter of concern for many of us. There is a difference between being a follower and a disciple. What we shared are the rules for a disciple, which are much tougher than for a follower.

There are millions of followers for spiritual teachers but disciples are few. The rules which we talked about yesterday were for the disciples. So, no need to worry much about it. Take it easy! However, keep it in mind where exactly you have to reach. That is very important.

So, from just being a follower of a teacher, you need to gradually move towards becoming a disciple. A disciple is a leader, a disciple is the one who makes things happen for the teacher. Teacher gives us the path. They show us the path, the disciple makes things happen.

They are the people who actually lead the activities or institutions. So, this is a very important understanding that you need to know. So, becoming a disciple takes years of practice. We talked about non-reaction. We said Inner non-reaction.

That means even at the deeper level, you have to learn to practice zero reaction. Externally as we said, easy for us to be patient and tolerant, but internally there is so much of pain that we have to bear but that pain is also actually a form of reaction.

How do we overcome any form of internal pain while we are going through challenges? That is exactly where we come to spiritual practices. So, zero non-reaction! Internal non-reaction comes from the power of the soul and the power of the soul stems from practicing the virtues that are being taught to us.

There are many virtues to be practiced. As we constantly start practicing virtues and becoming a better soul, a better person, gradually the spiritual energy will increase, and that will naturally give you the ability to practice zero non-reaction internally.

So, these are all things that we will keep on developing as we climb higher and higher but you have to remember that challenges are there at every level of our life. Even when you become a very highly evolved spiritual practitioner, the challenges are different at that level.

So, on the plane of matter or even on the plane of the higher dimensions, there are mighty challenges but we don’t have to worry about them. We simply do whatever best we could do under the given circumstances and allow things to happen as we start moving ahead.

So, there is no need for you to have any kind of concern or worry about it. As long as the inputs of your life are correct, the outputs will be correct. It is just a question of time. So, there is no need for you to have any concern about anything for that matter.

You have to remember that it is not just your effort. It is also the grace of the higher beings, grace of God. It is of utmost important for you to realize that we are constantly being watched, we are constantly being guided whether we know it or not.

All that is required is purity of thoughts, purity of actions. When that happens, everything else will naturally be given to us. So, zero concern about the spiritual path. Just do your best and the rest will happen! We shall proceed with the karmic obligations towards family.

Karmic obligations towards family

Family is your first school where you learn together with people who are karmically connected to you or with those working out a similar karma.

So, there are 2 things. One is people have got some karmic connection. This karmic connection can be positive, can be negative. So, it is no wonder that sometimes people end up in attracting very painful relationships. These people have got something to do with you karmically.

If you had given so much of pain to somebody in some lifetime, that soul is destined to be a part of your family.

So, it is a very delicate subject to even ponder upon to such a level that I heard one spiritual teacher mentioning that sometimes because you carry so much negative karma, giving so much of pain to people in many of the past lives, these people somehow end up in some relationships so painful that even when they leave you, they leave you with so much of pain, unbearable pain.

This is basically because of the karma that you have with that person. So, very delicate things, difficult for me to express it because it could be possible that some of you listening to me might have faced a similar situation and it should not be triggering this event again.

But karma is a very serious and delicate subject that you need to ponder upon. Everything is absolutely precise. There is nothing that happens without a cause. That exactly is what is about karma.

That is why we keep on reminding: Catch the bull by the horn and face it. Never ever avoid problems. You have to face challenges, you have to embrace them cheerfully as well as fearlessly. As you start working on this, gradually you will find mighty changes happening.

You all know about the story we keep sharing and many masters also share this important story about Balram and Krishna where it had been said that:

When you face what you must face, the problem becomes smaller and you become bigger whereas when you do not face what you must face, the problem becomes bigger and you become smaller. So, this is basically a part of the Bhagavat Purana, where it actually talks about the episode of Balram and Krishna facing a demon.

So, as Balram, the brother of Krishna, was afraid to face the demon, the demon kept on growing bigger and Balram started becoming smaller until he fell unconscious. Then, when Krishna faced the demon, he was facing the demon with fearlessness, boldly and gradually the demon became smaller and smaller and the demon fainted.

Just to make a very beautiful example of how facing the realities of life help you to become powerful internally. So, facing challenges of your life cheerfully and fearlessly is the key to resolve them. If you keep avoiding them, that’s exactly is going to be the problem.

Many people avoid problems and challenges or try to find some superficial solutions. Superficial solution is finding some vacation for example. You are not working on the root cause of the problem. You are trying to find some easy way out but this is not going to help you.

Treating the root cause of the challenges is extremely important. Root cause of the challenge, healing happens at the soul level, not at pleasing the physical body or the astral body by way of talking something nicely or giving some temporary relief to the person.

You have to work at the soul level by working out the imbalances. That takes time. If you fail to meet your karmic obligations in this lifetime, you will have to fulfill them in another life, in tougher conditions. There is no easy escape!

Some of you are thinking what is wrong in talking nicely to people, absolutely nothing wrong in talking nicely to people. It is very essential. What I actually meant to say is that superficially, when you try to console people or give some temporary relief by soothing words or giving them changes, this is not going to heal the cause of the problem.

It can temporarily give you relief but not healing. That is very important to understand.

So, certain lives are there for the souls to serve with dedication. That is exactly how the things happen. So, therefore when situations are very challenging, embrace the challenges cheerfully.

As you start serving with dedication, gradually you will start gathering spiritual strength that can help you to skip several lifetimes ahead. So, rather than going through several lifetimes, when you cheerfully embrace some of the very mighty challenges of your life, then that can help you to evolve rapidly.

Rapidly to a level where what people accomplish in say, 10 or 20 lifetimes, you accomplish it in just one lifetime. There is always a cause and there is always something good in everything that happens to us! This unshakable faith you need to have deep within yourself.

There is a very beautiful proverb from ancient teachings. It says:

Today’s pleasure is tomorrow’s punishment.
^{-Indian proverb}

In Hindi, it is :

”Aaj ki maza, kal ki saza”

Do not indulge in any activity that can harm your family. If you are married, do not get entangled in an extra-marital affair. No matter how secretly you conduct it, this breach of trust will come back to you as intense pain and misfortune.

Very important, breach of trust is the worst thing that can ever happen. If it has already happened, understand you have to change and somehow you have to ensure that this is not repeated again. Sometimes, the soul has to fall in its journey.

That is why in Hindi we say, Girna bhi hai, aur sambhalna bhi hai! It is natural for the soul to fall as it treads on the spiritual path but as you fall, do not lose time in guilt or in sitting with the problem. Get up quickly, learn the lesson and start walking ahead again.

That is exactly how experiences are gathered. Either you learn it on your own, which is very profound or you observe people and learn the lessons. That is the smarter way but normally what you learn with your own experience is very profound and permanently, the soul gets certain lessons that is never repeated in any of its future lifetime.

It is wiser not to bargain tons of pain for a handful of pleasure.

That is why we say, Pennywise pound foolish!

If you find it impossible to live together, then you may move apart peacefully in a proper manner, but be careful with your decision.

Even if your partner is bad, it could often be the result of an unresolved karmic issue that stems from a past life. You have to work on the karma with your partner and heal past wounds.

So, even if means that you have to split, ensure that there is no pain or any kind of hard feelings that are remaining. If that is the case, you have to work on this first before you decide to split, otherwise you have not healed the past.

And if the past is not healed, the cause is still there, it will again surface in some way or the other with the person getting entangled to you even in the future lifetimes. That is the reason why, there is always a spiritual way of doing even tough things.

You can sit and chat with the person that we have tried everything. All that we could do, we have done. All these years, nothing really worked. So, because we both have a different way of thinking, it is better that we respect each other’s feeling, that we have a meaningful life for each of us in our own way.

In some way, you have to find a very peaceful and amicable solution to even tougher decisions of your life. Even if your partner is bad, it could often be the result of an unresolved karmic issue that stems from a past life. You have to work on the karma with your partner and heal past wounds. This is very important.