When you attain freedom from slavery to feeling, you become spiritually sensitive; but you are no longer oversensitive to matter. You feel pain, but are untouched by it. You see this world, but know it isn’t the ultimate reality. You are above every limitation of body and mind, centred in the calm nature of your soul.
But what poor training the world gives us you can well understand. Either the father is mad and takes it out on the children or the mother scolds without cause. What an example for the young! What a picture to place before them! It is better not to produce children unless you are willing to give them proper training. By withholding the right kind of discipline you make them miserable all their lives. They acquire habits that prevent them from being themselves, their true Selves. Of course, good habits are friends that help us, but wrong habits influence us to become demons. In the same house you may find one person tolerating everything with calmness and another who is all the time boiling with anger, jealousy, and other disturbing emotions. If you can always remain calm, isn’t that much better? If God got impatient, think what would happen to this world! Fortunately for us, He remains calm. He has perfect control of feeling. One part of Him, His absolute nature, is never restless, even though as Creator He knows what is going on here, because He exists in all. So should we be, ever calm in our soul nature in spite of any turmoil around us.
When someone comes to me in a violent state, dancing with anger, I can see that he is suffering. No matter what I would say, he wouldn’t understand because of his agitation. But if I have control over myself, I can humour him until I have calmed him and make him receptive to reason. I have never lost that calmness of my soul. If I had lost it, regardless of what excuse my mind might have offered, I would have lost with God. With God- that is where you must win. Inside, you should always be anchored in perfect calmness. When someone comes to you in anger, remain in charge of yourself. “I will not lose my temper. I will keep on expressing calmness until his feeling changes.” Then you are demonstrating perfect control of chitta.
To have calm feeling doesn’t mean that you always smile and agree with everyone no matter what they say- that you regard truth but don’t want to annoy anybody with it. This is going to the extreme. Those who try in this way to please everyone, with the desire of getting praise for their good nature, do not necessarily have control of feeling. It is good to be pleasant and agreeable if your behaviour is sincere. But agreeing with others all the time because you are afraid to speak truth, lest you displease, cannot be called control of feeling. Whoever has control of feeling follows truth, shares that truth wherever he can, and avoids annoying unnecessarily anyone who would not be receptive anyway. He knows when to speak and when to be silent, but he never compromises his own ideals and inner peace. Such a man is a force for great good in this world.
Extract from the book “Divine Romance” by Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda
