One should learn to analyse himself and others to determine why some persons are liked by all and others are not. Even among children we find some whom everyone regards affectionately and others whom everyone avoids. One of the first conclusions from such analysis is that if a person is to become likable, he must make himself more attractive from within. Sometimes even the most physically attractive person may be repellent because of the inner ugliness reflected in his speech and actions.
At one time the secret of popularity was supposed to be “it,” a kind of physical appeal and magnetism. But having ”it” does not necessarily make one likable. Our good or bad traits determine whether, and by whom, we are liked or disliked. Evil attracts evil; good attracts good. “It” is not what we should want, but the kind of magnetism that will draw good to us, that will bring sincere friends and merited admiration. Can externals such as clothes and a pretty or handsome face give us this kind of attractiveness? No. It has to be created within.
Avoid moodiness. There is no unpleasantness in being grave; but your expression is quite different when you are indulging in a dark mood. Your face is a mirror that reveals every change of feeling. Your thoughts and emotions, like waves, ebb and flow in the facial muscles, continuously altering your appearance. Everyone you meet sees and reacts to these facial expressions of what you are inwardly thinking and feeling. You can fairly well control your eyes and your smile, and thus conceal your feelings from some; but not from all. Lincoln rightly said, ”It is true that you may fool all the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all the time.”
In our eyes is the entire history of our life. It cannot be concealed from those who know how to read it. There are spiritual eyes, half-spiritual eyes, dishonest eyes, sensual eyes. What one does is written there. If I were to analyze what I see in a person’s eyes, he would be astonished at my accuracy.
Never do anything that taints your mind. Wrong actions cause negative or evil mental vibrations that are reflected in your whole appearance and personality. Engage in those actions and thoughts that nurture the good qualities you want to have. If you conduct yourself in accord with the truths I am telling you, you will find your life beautifully different.
Extract from the book “Man’s Eternal Quest” by Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda.